It's December 26th and already the tree is down, the decorations are put away- nearly all signs of Christmas (minus the wreath on the front door and a house full of new toys!) are packed away.
I'm not sure what my rush is or was, but I think a part of me has been bracing myself. Just get through Christmas, I keep telling myself....
Now, I guess I can check that off of my list and move forward.
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Next hurdle? The excitement of the New Year and Jeremiah's due date. January 19th. Ready or not, it's coming. And I am bracing myself...
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My goal for 2012 is to truly be hopeful. I want and need to get beyond the words and really feel it. I want to be happy and joyful again. I want to quit thinking destructful and sad thoughts. I want to be thankful. Greatful. Appreciative. I simply want to feel like me again. I don't like looking at life through these grief-colored eyes.
I'm torn between my grief and my future. They are not sitting well side-by-side. One is getting the best of me.
Before I got pregnant with Jeremiah, I felt the strongest and healthiest- both emotionally and physically, than I have in a long time. I want to feel that strength and motivation again.
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I will feel that strength and motivation again.
Because I am not alone:
I know good things are in store for me:
Although it may feel impossible to me:
Nothing is impossible with God.
He is my strength.
My courage.
My hope.
My future.
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