Celebrations

We celebrated Gavin's 7th birthday today.  I am so thankful and feel so blessed to be his mom.  Sweet memories of his birth flood through me.

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I'll never forget, after over 20 hours of labor, the moment that my doctor, Dr. Burris told me that my son was going to be in my arms in a matter of minutes.  Although I had been pregnant for 9 months and had been seeing my doctors weekly, I never really knew or believed that I would deliver a child that I would be able to leave the hospital with and have the opportunity to raise.

Sadly, having lost our first son, Aiden, my naivety was gone and I realized that carrying your child in your womb does not mean that you always get to carry your child home.  Laying in the delivery room, moments before Gavin was born, tears ran down my face.  This was our moment.  It was really happening.  We were going to meet our son.

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After Gavin's birthday party festivities, Gavin, Gabe, Tom and I cuddled on the couch and I pulled out the boy's baby scrapbooks.  We flipped through them, page-by-page and I shared my memories of the days when they were born.

I took the opportunity to hold them in my arms and really tell them how much I love them.  We laughed at their silly pictures and oohed and ahhed over how cute they were!  I shared with them how much they are loved and how the days they were born were truly, the best days of my life.

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Sharing moments like these with Gavin and Gabe always make me think of my other little boys, Aiden and Jeremiah.  I remember their births.  I remember how much I love them.  I remember how the days of their births were truly, the best days of my life too.

It's hard sometimes to say that because the days that Aiden and Jeremiah were born were also the most devastating days of my life.  But first and foremost, they were the beautiful days that I was blessed to meet and hold my sons- if even for a moment.

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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Happy Birthday, Gavin!

It seems like just
a little while ago
you raised your tiny head
and smiled at me
for the first time
and I smiled back with tears.
I loved you so much then
and though you are a little older now;
I still look at your beautiful smile
and love you even more.
I feel so fortunate to have you for a son.
I love your bright face
when we talk about the world.
I love your smile
when we laugh together.
I love your eyes
when you are showing emotion.
I love your mind
when you are discovering new ideas
and creating dreams to follow.
I want you to know
that I enjoy you so much and
I love the time we spend together.
I am so proud of you

and the young man you are becoming.
I love you.